Unreachable

Angela Langlands
3 days ago
2 min read

We all have one. The student who stays with you through the summer, year after year. The one you wish you could have done differently for. It's a quiet roar inside you that brings up feelings of guilt or inadequacy or just plain grief.

I encourage you to name that student and use them as a lesson. And know, without guilt or the need for resolution, that they will always be with you, fueling you to be better. To do better.

The Turning Point

I couldn't reach Frankie. We just didn't click, particularly in literacy, where the gap created by their EAL challenges felt cavernous to me. I felt deeply inadequate to support in the way that was needed. I also felt too nervous? Scared? Embarrassed? Or maybe all three, to say anything.

But after a quarter of building trust with my colleagues, and still not breaking through with Frankie, I finally said it out loud.

As I did, I saw heads nodding around me, which brought on a feeling of relief. Knowing I wasn't the only one who felt this way about a student, that we all needed help in one area or another. That was my turning point.

What I Learned

I checked my ego at the door. And instead of asking for a strategy to help Frankie, I asked for something harder: shared ownership of Frankie. I was saying… I couldn’t do this alone.

I stopped teaching Frankie in the space where we were both stuck. When we opened the doors to new literacy opportunities, we found the places where Frankie could flourish, and as a team, we all taught Frankie. That rippled outward until we became everyone's teachers.

Start Here

The guilt you feel about that unreachable student from last year or the one before… It's natural. It's also a symptom of a system that told you to be everything for everyone. You're going to keep feeling this way if you keep working alone.

The silence is the problem…not you.

My Suggestion.

Read last week’s blog post if you need the words.

Then ask for support. It's okay not to be all things to all students.

Relinquish the blame. Embrace the community.

The collective seeing changes everything: for the student you're still thinking about, for you, for your team, and every student who comes after.

…You can thank me later.